God save the blond

Funny story written by walter

Wednesday, 12 August 2015


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Warfare has been man's prime idiocy ever since he came to existence. He fought for food, water and pasture; now, fights for petroleum, minerals and markets. Religions have provided esprit de corps to achieve these goals. However, we read in literature, that many men have died in pursuit of sex. Therefore, we may add sex as an impulse to engage in fighting.

Nevertheless, nature or whatever uses a few seconds of sex pleasure as bait to keep its evolution process moving forward. In this regard, animals seem to be luckier than humans; rhinos, perhaps, remain so and never to dance ballet.

Since every minute of some male human's life, in certain areas, is fully busy with sexual thoughts, this state of mind needs more attention. But one is tempted to infer that all wars fought by man have something to do with the sex feeling of warlords.

Anyway, a naked eye can see that natives of Middle East, at least, are dominated by sex impulse. The males of the area, plainly put, are extremely possessive or rather tyrants, from the top of the hierarchy to its base. They get so mad if any other man incidentally catches a glimpse of the parched heels of their barefooted wives. Therefore, covering them from head to toe like mummies is called a divine order.

The Middle Eastern religions assert that men have a divine right to give their daughters in marriage, take females in war as war booties like ISIS of the past and present, bar them from entering paradise, and stone them to death if their pregnancies are doubtful.

However, a bird view of beaches in certain areas such as present Turkey, Cypress etc, leads us to believe that direct sun beam may have some thing to do with men's insatiable sexual desire, or it might cause some alterations in their food crops causing activation of more sexual desires or hormones.

Alcohol is said to depress nerve centers that control sexual arousal and performance. In addition to sexual arousal, it is believed that alcohol may decrease sexual performance. People of Middle East are mainly Muslims and consumption of alcohol is divinely forbidden. Therefore, their sexual performance remains intact. North Europeans who frequent Turkish Mediterranean coast, drink regularly. Their presence in Mediterranean summer resort areas reveals a fact: they are civilized and gentle. Additionally, their tall blond females make a perfect match for sexually aroused men of the area.

These women, in bikini or scant dress, avoid any sexual furtive look common with some local women who are not sure of their new nose job or else. Male of the area brazenly survey the Scandinavian females who simply expose their body to get tanned.

This observation may form a hypothesis for a research which may scientifically indicate that the inhabitants of this vast area are victims of direct sun shine. Their religion divinely allows their possessiveness to indiscriminately own any woman especially European blonds. The gentle European citizens are becoming victims of this psychological radicalism like what happened in Tunisia, killing 30 Britons. Of course, Europe is equipped with a better brain and a sophisticated weapon system. But can man fight billions of flies with a single insecticide can? Well, can UN integration plan solve the diminishing European population problem?

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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