Late runner in UK Labour Party leader election race announced

Written by Steddyeddy

Sunday, 19 July 2015

image for Late runner in UK Labour Party leader election race announced
Kim Jong-un's Labour membership ID photo

The UK Labour Party has added a late runner in the race for its new leader.

A hitherto unknown staunch supporter of Labour and a "bezzy mate" of Adolf Corbyn (one of the other leadership hopefuls), Mr Kim Jong-un from North Korea has paid his £3 (almost a quarter of North Korea's 2014 GDP) membership fee of the Labour Party and will contest the leadership election in September.

Kim Jong-un comes from a long line of Kim Jongs, including professional wrestler King Kong il, Chinese entrepreneur Hong Kong il and professional table tennis champion Ping Pong il. He is also rumoured to be related to the production manager of the famous British comedy Goon Show, Ying Tong il.

Mr Jong-Un has said that if he is elected leader of the labour Party, he will immediately:

* rescind the television licence fee, as he will be suspending all television transmissions
* make access to the internet totally free, although the owning of an internet browser will be punishable by death
* close all branches of McDonalds, Burger King, KFC and Dominos Pizza as people will be obliged to grow their own food
* reduce the cost of a litre of petrol and diesel to 4p. However, the ownership of cars will be made illegal
* the bank interest rate will be lowered to -56%, as people will not be allowed to have more that £14 in their bank account at any one time

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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