A copy of a leaked document shockingly suggests that the British Secret Service may soon be forced to change its name under the Trade Descriptions Act.
Apparently, the number of secrets held by the department has fallen to an all-time low and a name change may become necessary if the number falls below the statutory minimum requirement.
The present head of the British Secret Service, Alex Younger, CMG (51) was understandably guarded when quizzed earlier today.
'I concede that continuing revelations by Wikileaks and others only serve to reduce our secrets.' he confirmed.
'Recent PR exercises, such as inviting the BBC children's programme Blue Peter into MI5 and allowing them a 'good look around' hasn't helped either, but I can confirm that we have managed to hang onto some good juicy secrets.'
Mr. Younger was keen to emphasize that he was more concerned with the quality of the secrets held rather than the quantity and was eager to confirm that in his opinion the British Secret Service was still a world leader in the possession of 'truly top-class secrets'.
Nevertheless, the Trade Descriptions Act and European Directives both stipulate a minimum requirement for the inclusion of 'secret' within the name of a public department.
Failing this, we understand that possible alternative names under consideration are the British Hush-Hush Service or the British (Mum's the Word) Service.
