England is to detach Scotland from it's seabed if voters choose in favour of independence at upcoming referendum.
The plans which had been crudely scrawled on the back of a No.10 embossed napkin surfaced upon twitter this morning. They outline the coalitions new initiative to begin planting depth charges along the Scottish coastline and rural borders, and implement the first ever amputation of an entire country. The 'Ampunation' (as the napkin was titled) would be put straight into action if Alex Salmond's SNP party wins the countries independence from the Great British Isles.
"Well I happen to think it's a cracking idea" said an ex Tory backbencher who wanted to remain nameless. "Send them out to sea, they're an industrious little people, i'm sure they'll be fine. It's what the Argentines did with the little old Falkland isles and that played very well for us."
Government contractors G4S are rumoured to be the top bidders for the demolition contract.
