Scottish Secret Military Satellite Launch Delayed As No-One Had A Light For The Blue Touch Paper

Written by Auntie Jean

Tuesday, 8 July 2014

image for Scottish Secret Military Satellite Launch Delayed As No-One Had A Light For The Blue Touch Paper
Mission Control Centre View

A proposed top secret military defence satellite launch from Glasgow Mission Control missed a launch window by minutes today when it was realised that no one had brought a lighter to light the blue touch paper with.

Another launch window is available at midnight tonight. The tiny satellite is too small to fire lasers or spot incoming nuclear missiles but it can identify swarms of midges which are a major threat in certain conditions.

The satellite will probably fall down quite soon and catch fire but it will help Alexei Salmon to show off just in time for the referendum.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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