Ready for anything minister, Liz Rupture has said she can make a much better job of dealing with floods, horsemeat in burgers, badger issues, tsunamis, volcanoes, meteors, earthquakes and students than her sacked predecessor. "also after working for Michael Guv, I am ready for any catastrophe! she told our reporter this morning."
Mr. Guv, popular with the ladies, has gone on to become one of the new faces of Conservatism. A charmer by nature, Mr. Guv's sexy image is set to do for the Conservatives what John F. Kennedy did for the American Democrats, attracting voters who vote for Movie Star appeal as well as policy innovation.
David Cameron is fielding his election winning front liners and cannot afford to lose any seats, as no-one knows what kind of coalition may have to be scraped up from the floor again if the shit hits the fan.
