English and Scottish BBC Licence Payers to Stop Subsidising Welsh Nationalist T.V. Programme

Funny story written by Auntie Jean

Tuesday, 8 April 2014

image for English and Scottish BBC Licence Payers to Stop Subsidising Welsh Nationalist T.V. Programme
Welsh Soap Superstar, Blodwyn Rhees

Cuts to the incredibly subsidised Welsh language soap Pobol y Cwumgogogoch have been announced. The weekly omnibus will be cut, along with one of its fifty weekday episodes, and it will be taken off air completely for a wonderful two weeks a year.

It is part of an S4C plan to make £100m of savings to the soap's costs. A spokesperson said, "Its become as expensive as feckin Noal Edmunds, and what is it? Six people, a dog and a beat up Land Rover, I ask you, What have the Welsh ever done for us?".

S4C said the decision reflected changing viewing patterns, i.e. not warching this Nationalist sh*te and the fact that episodes were now being broadcast in Mandarin Chinese without anyone noticing.

Pobol y Cwumgogogoch is produced for S4C by BBC Cymrew Wales. Although the BBC funds most of Pobol y Cwumgogogoch, S4C has paid £10 towards the omnibus. While we are aware of how much people hate this weekly Pobol y Cwumgogogoch omnibus, it isn't possible to continue to pay the sums we're currently paying without getting rid of Noal Edmunds and Graham Nortown"

Dafydd Rhys S4C Director of Pleasing Welsh Nationalists, Sian Gwynedd, head of Welsh language programmes and services at BBC Wales said: "This is terrific news because we can put civilised programmes in English on now. We recognise that S4C, just like the BBC, is operating in a very tough financial climate at the moment. "We're also confident a 24/7 seven-night-a-week Pobol y Cwumgogogoch will continue to appeal to bumpkins the length and breadth of Wales.

"Pobol y Cwumgogogoch is a flagship programme for both the BBC and S4C and we may have an exciting story line ahead in this, the 70th year of its riveting feckin history."

Ms Gwynedd added: "It's too early at this stage to say what the precise impact will be on the 10,000 strong production team. "But our immediate focus is to discuss the implications of the change with production staff, artists, trade unions, the Writers Guild and Equity at the next Eisteddfod."

Dafydd Rhesus, director of content at S4C, said: "Following the cuts to S4C's budget which continue over coming years, we are still in the process of identifying further reductions in spending money on rubbish that we can't sell even to Albania.

"While we are aware of how much people appreciate the weekly Pobol y Cwumgogogoch omnibus, it isn't possible to continue to pay the sums we're currently paying and fleece the English T.V. licence payers for it.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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