David Moyes Released Back Into The Wild

Funny story written by D P Whitehead

Friday, 25 April 2014

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It is hoped Moyes will adjust to the wild

After completing a distinguished career as Manchester United boss spanning nearly 10 months, former Everton and Preston North End manager David Moyes was re-released into his native Scottish highland habitat yesterday.

Walking northward towards a glorious Scottish dusk, the long-time United manager, escorted by Jock Mactavish, a wildlife conservationist with the Scottish parks department, flapped his way to the edge of Loch Ness. Mactavish then let go of Moyes' hand, and the former "chosen one" squawked jubilantly for several minutes before waving goodbye to his mentor, Sir Alex Ferguson, and a throng of teary-eyed well-wishers, disappearing into the thick spruce woods.

It is hoped that, now free, Moyes will instigate a breeding process with other released former Premier League managers.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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