Manchester United have sacked temporary manager Ryan Giggs after the home defeat today to Sunderland.
The match ended 1-0 to the visitors.
An official announcement will be made shortly.
Giggs, known as Giggsy, will, like former manager David Moyles, be released into the wild - probably as soon as Sunday.
"Aye up lad, United's a mess," said hardcore fan Martin Suttlecock, the only Manchester United fan this reporter could find not from London.
It is expected that United are to engage the services of a medium; to contact deceased former boss Sir Mat Busby for advice regarding the appointment of a new manager.
The continually sleeping Sir Alex Ferguson, who was caught today at Old Trafford napping throughout the game, has not yet woken up.
Ryan Giggs is extremely hairy.