DRESDEN, Germany - A cannibal cop arrested for the killing of a man he met online is blaming his crime on the fact that he ate horse meat lasagna purchased and eaten last year and claims it gave him mad cow disease.
A representative from Findus, the producers of the infamous lasagna that was shown to contain 100% horse meat, stated, "Look. We now know for a fact that the product contained 100% horse meat, we are getting law suits up our hind quarters because of that fact and anyone now claiming to have gotten mad cow disease from our product must be outright lying because there was no beef in the product whatsoever, only bits of horse. You can't get mad cow disease from a product that was, in fact, made from an entirely different type of quadruped."
The lawyer for Cannibal Cop asked us to withhold this information from his client because he didn't think the jury would catch on to the nuance and there still might be an outside chance of winning an acquittal.
If that doesn't go over, the lawyer stated he'll use the Pony Express Theory of Defense - When one horse, or legal defense, dies, you jump on a fresh horse.
