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Funny satire stories about jury

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Funny story: Jury Required For Up-Skirt Pervert

Jury Required For Up-Skirt Pervert

Reading Crown Court have taken the unprecedented step of advertising for a 12-person jury to try a local man. Normally, if someone gets a jury summons in the post, they must respond within 7 days. You will be part of a jury of 12 people to decide…

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Funny story: How Not to Avoid Jury Duty

How Not to Avoid Jury Duty

Pomona, CA. An elderly man who thought he should have been excused from jury duty for medical reasons reluctantly appeared at the municipal court here last Monday when jury officials rejected his claim. He still hoped that the judge would recognize h...

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Funny story: SCOTUS: Jurors must justify their deliberations

SCOTUS: Jurors must justify their deliberations

WHITEWASHINGTON, DC -- In a God-like pronouncement, the US Supreme Court ruled, by a 5-3 vote, that jurors are no longer allowed to deliberate in secret. Now, to prevent "prejudice" and "bias" in trials involving illegal aliens or other "protected...

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Funny story: Supreme Court Rules to Include Ten Commandments in Federal Jury Instructions

Supreme Court Rules to Include Ten Commandments in Federal Jury Instructions

One-upping its recent ruling allowing public prayers before town meetings in Greece, New York, the Supreme Court voted 5-4 to include the Ten Commandments in federal criminal jury instructions. Justice Anthony Kennedy wrote for the majority, "It d...

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Funny story: Boulder Man Found Not Guilty With Defense of "I Forgot"

Boulder Man Found Not Guilty With Defense of "I Forgot"

Boulder, CO - The jury for a misdemeanor case before the 20th District Boulder County circuit court has found a Boulder man not guilty based on his defense of "I forgot." Eric Lewellen of Boulder was arrested on April 19th after a Boulder police...

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Funny story: Cannibal Cop From Germany Blames Horse Meat Lasagna

Cannibal Cop From Germany Blames Horse Meat Lasagna

DRESDEN, Germany - A cannibal cop arrested for the killing of a man he met online is blaming his crime on the fact that he ate horse meat lasagna purchased and eaten last year and claims it gave him mad cow disease. A representative from Findus,...

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Funny story: The Jury is out, but the jurors are clueless

The Jury is out, but the jurors are clueless

In an unprecedented legal quandary this week, an entire jury was deemed unfit for service and thrown out by the judge. Journalists discarded all courteous behaviour as they shoved, elbowed and kicked their way to the Court entrance in a bid to interv...

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Funny story: Local man called up for Jury Disservice

Local man called up for Jury Disservice

A man has declined to take part in jury service after sensationally admitting he doesn't hold the British Justice System in high regard. He didn't seem to realise that nobody in the country does and people regularly take jury service purely to be nos...

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Funny story: Tabby Cat has been summoned to do jury service in the United States

Tabby Cat has been summoned to do jury service in the United States

Suffolk Superior Crown Court, Boston, United States: Only in America, the land of the free and the brave, would a Tabby Cat be been summoned to do jury service. In compliance with the US judicial system website, jurors are "not expected to speak...

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Funny story: Jury Consults Tarot Cards

Jury Consults Tarot Cards

An Appeal Court in California has been asked to review a murder conviction on the basis that the jury reached its verdict after following some Tarot readings in the jury room while no one else was looking. Actually only four were involved in the r...

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Funny story: The Secrets of Avoiding Jury Selection

The Secrets of Avoiding Jury Selection

Many people ....(what am I saying!)...Most people hate receiving a jury summons. This generally requires at least one day off work (without pay, of course), downtown traffic and parking, long lines, hurry up and wait, inadequate bathroom facilities, no convenient lunch, losing coins in vending machines, rude and/or overworked employees (city, county, state, or Federal), sitting on unpadded seats...

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