Conservative Conference : Prime Minister Fingers Balls

Written by Talking Tic-Tacs

Sunday, 6 October 2013


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"Crime blah Immigration blah Poor People are a burden blah" Photo from Condescending Conference

The last of the main three UK Political Party Conferences took place this week and with the sensational entertainment that followed it was less Conservative Conference and more Wild Get-Together. Like an orgy.

In response to Labour's Ed Balls dropping a hint about David Cameron's notoriously tiny penis the Prime Minister gave a one index-fingered salute back whilst mentioning the word 'up' a lot. Code crackers and subliminal experts have since been stumped. The Tory faithful however were rapturous in their appreciation of the hidden message.

Indeed supporters and members alike turned out in their numbers to hear their political heroes give inspiring speeches. And also George Osbourne's, who continues to tread the political boardwalk with all the charm, wit and charisma of a dead tadpole.

Talking of pondlife and parasitic toad-like creatures - Nigel Farage also appeared and looked to out-Tory the Tories with his massive ajar mouth and outright-right-wing UKIP agenda. This appeals to many Conservative members who are threatening to defect to a party that doesn't even try and hide their xenophobia and elitism.

Then, as if that wasn't wild enough, '70's stand-up comic Boris Johnson's hair had a cameo appearance.

All in all it was a wonderful exercise in patronising and condescension.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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