Cops smash heir terror plot

Funny story written by queen mudder

Thursday, 10 August 2006

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Sign of the Beast: Pretender's Heir Transparent

London - (AssoCIAted Mess): Officers from the Met's Anti-terrorist branch have foiled a massive conspiracy to blow up a series of transatlantic passenger jets masterminded by the heir to the Pretender to the Throne of Great Britain, Charles Windsor.

In a series of dawn raids in the South East England and in Birmingham, over one thousand officers from SO13 were supported by specialist staff from MI5's intelligence directorate and a number of suspects were detained.

The move follows a superb and cunning counter-intelligence operation earlier in the week focusing on the supposed bugging of Clarence House mobile phone voicemails.

The story had been widely reported in the UK press and had vindicated and delighted a spiteful and told-you-so po-faced Charles Windsor and his latest wife, Camilla - grand-daughter of both the former Soviet President Nikita Khruschev and of the Nazi traitor Ribbentrop from his marriage to the Queen Mother lookalike installed by the Tories after King George VI, his wife and elder daughter all perished in the 1940 luftwaffe bombing of Buckingham Palace.

For the last six months, Anti-terror officers have been tracking and bugging the terrorist impostor who has been impersonating 'Prince William', elder son of Charles Windsor, Pretender to the Throne.

'William' was identified by Scotland Yard back in 1985 as a doppleganger lookalike son Heather McCartney Mills and Gordon Brown who was installed as a royal prince in Kensington Palace after a nasty fatal incident with an illicit revolver after Charles went beserk following a bad acid trip one bleak Sunday afternoon.

It is understood that the UK security and intelligence services have followed 'William's' movements very closely ever since and had initially been prepared to pounce after the 7/7 London bombing outrage.

But sources high up in Interpol sugested that it might be better to wait and conduct more surveillance on Mills and Brown to get a fuller picture of European recruitment of supposed fundamentalist Islamic militant mercenaries with a penchant for self-immolation using airliner gasoline.

Today's latest reports have suggested that the foiled plot to blow up EasyJet passengers bound for New York and San Francisco was a textbook classic using recruited pro-Hezbollah stooges who were prepared to do the dirty in exchange for the cancelling of their extended families' opium and crack cocaine debts.

Biblical conspiracy-theory watchers have been quick to align the event with prophecies found in the Old Testament's Book of EasyKill and have warned that the prospects of full-scale martial law in the UK appear very high indeed on the latest indicators in their Rapture Index.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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