Bra Burning Bonanza Banned By Burnley Council

Funny story written by IainB

Sunday, 9 October 2011

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Matches at the ready - if the Health and Safety Brigade agree

The Bra Burning Coalition, the militant wing of the Feminism Movement, which is the political arm of Woman's Lib, which is a small book-store in Cambridge, is looking for a new venue for their annual Bra Burning.

"We've been burning bras in Burnley for fifty years," said Brenda De Collatage, on behalf of the BBC. "Every autumn on Bonfire Night we build a massive pile of bras and set them alight to symbolise woman's continual struggle against equality in the world and our constant stereotyping. Plus it gives us a chance to go shopping for more bras."

After a complaint from a nearby resident who has preferred to remain anonymous for good reason giving these women's history of angry letter writing, Burnley Council has denied the BBC permission to burn bras in their jurisdiction.

"It's unfortunate," said Miss O'Gynist, head librarian at Burnley council. "But apparently the smell of burning cloth lingers in the area for weeks. As much as I support the inequality movement since switching genders, peoples's health and well being must come first."

De Collatage and her cohorts are now on the look out for a suitable place to hold their annual bonfire.

"Burnley was perfect," she said. "Now we've had to write to Burnage in Manchester, to see if they'll allow us to enact our ritual. Also we've tried Burnhope near Newcastle, but mos to fthe girls think that will send out the wrong message. We're hoping that Bitchburn in County Durham will be ameanable as we like the name."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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