Kim Kardashian Marries NBA Star Kris Humphries and She Has Now Become America's Most Famous Sports WAG

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 23 August 2011

image for Kim Kardashian Marries NBA Star Kris Humphries and She Has Now Become America's Most Famous Sports WAG
The game of basketball has more WAGS than any other U.S. sport. (Photo courtesy of Khloe Kardashian).

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - The moment she uttered those famous two little words "I do," Kim Kardashian not only became Mrs. Kris Humphries but she also became the most famous WAG in America.

Kris Humphries plays for the NBA New Jersey Nets. For those unfamiliar with the term WAG, it is an acronym for Wives and or Girlfriends (of sports figures).

The term first gained widespread use during the 2006 FIFA World Cup Soccer matches. It was applied to the sexy-looking wives of English soccer players including Victoria Beckham (wife of David Beckham), Cheryl Cole (wife of Ashley Cole), and Coleen Rooney (wife of Wayne Rooney).

One of the unofficial requirements of being a WAG is that the female must take every possible opportunity to have herself photographed wearing either an extremely salacious short skirt, a titillatingly low-cut blouse, a pair of erotically tight short shorts, or a lasciviously little bikini swimsuit that looks like it came out of a postage stamp machine.

The term WAG has now crossed the pond (the Atlantic Ocean) and is used to refer to the sexually provocative wives of American sports players such as Gisele Bundchen, wife of New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, Brooklyn Decker, wife of tennis star Andy Roddick, and Vanessa Bryant, wife of NBA superstar Kobe Bryant of The Los Angeles Lakers.

Kim Kardashian has been a charter member of the WAG fraternity for quite a while since in the past she reportedly has dated a total of nine sports figures including New Orleans Saints running back Reggie Bush, champion shuffleboardist Estrada P. Knickersteen, Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Miles Austin, and finally dating and marrying basketball's Kris Humphries of the New Jersey Nets.

The Kardashian sisters are not new to the "World of WAGS" since Khloe Kardashian is married to Los Angeles Laker Lamar Odom and sister Kourtney, before she got married, allegedly dated boxer Mike Tyson although she swears up and down that it was not her but someone who looked exactly like her including the little diamond shaped birth mark on her upper left thigh.

The WAG society did lose one of its most prominent members when last year the star of Desperate Housewives Eva Longoria-Parker divorced her husband San Antonio Spurs guard Tony Parker and ended up having to drop the Parker part from her name.

Longoria told iRumors reporter Taffeta Kixx that it was really hard for her to make the adjustment from going to being a hyphenated sports wife to being a non-hyphenated ex-sports wife.

While married to the much younger Parker, Eva was also the only WAG cougar anywhere in the sports world. She said that she did receive some moral, emotional, and financial support from another ex-WAG Elin Nordegren, who is the ex-wife of Tiger "Dick With Feet" Woods who eventually found himself minus a wife, minus a WAG, and minus $342 million dollars.

Taffeta Kixx says that WAGS are always receiving fabulous gifts from their husbands and/or boyfriends. She noted that the most expensive gift any WAG has ever received was the $4 million ring that Vanessa Bryant received from Kobe Bryant to make up for his alleged involvement with a transgendered Hooters girl in Trinidad, Colorado.

In a non-related story. Sarah Palin who is currently on her One Nation Bus Tour has apologized to reporter Coquette Eucalyptus of 'The West Hollywood Flaming Gazette' for having been called a friggin lesbianite by nine-year-old Piper Palin.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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