Tiger Woods Takes Early Lead In Ryder Cup With 18 Ho'les To Play

Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate

Tuesday, 28 September 2010


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Tiger's Ryder Cup Ho'les

Tiger Woods and his entourage of 18 Ho'les arrived early Monday morning by private jet at the Celtic Manor in Wales to acclimate themselves for this weeks Ryder Cup competition. While most members of his team were accompanied by their wife or selected squeeze, Tiger's handpicked pussy posse of 18 hard ryding Ho'les occupied a complete floor of the exquisite Celtic Manor overlooking the golf course.

Tiger reportedly will use a blind draw to randomly station individual Ho'les on each of the 18 holes. With the game on, each hole he birdies during his matches will qualify the Ho'le representing the hole to attend that evening's cocktail party with Tiger. For instance, if he birdies holes 8, 13 and 15, the Ho'les assigned to those holes will get to party and play with him later that evening.

When asked by this reporter if his remaining entourage might overwhelm the room service facilities of the Manor, Tiger smiled and said that he "could chew gum and hose at the same time; so no worries mate."

Ryder Cup winners traditionally are welcomed by hugs and kisses from their wives or significant others on Sunday when the matches are completed. A special security detail has been set up in case the Yanks win so that Tiger won't get dog-piled by his 18 handpicked Ho'les.

More to follow from Wales.........

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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