Joe Cole Receives Second Red Card In A Week - For Speeding!

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 18 August 2010

image for Joe Cole Receives Second Red Card In A Week - For Speeding!
Oh, and he's off again!

Joe Cole, the Liverpool and England footballer who was sent off in his very first competitive game for the Reds against Arsenal at the weekend, has come a cropper for the second time in a week, when he was given a second red card - for speeding!

Cole, 28, a midfielder, was caught driving his Audi A4 on a dual carriageway in Claygate, Surrey, at more than 105mph in a 70mph zone. This, even for a footballer is ILLEGAL!

Cole, who did not attend court because he couldn't be arsed, had denied speeding on the A3 Esher bypass.

But District Judge Clive Wiles - a Chelsea fan - 'dismissed' this flimsy account, and issued a straight red card to the chirpy Cockney's solicitor, Dean George, despatching him to the dressing room for an early bath. He told Mr George:

"Footballers think they can do whatever they like. It is the court's job to show them that they cannot. I am due to pass sentence later and I should warn you that your client could face jail. That'll teach him to go signing for a northern club."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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