Blackpool FC Move Into Champions League Spot

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 16 August 2010


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Holloway arriving at work this morning

Premier League newboys Blackpool clearly stated their intentions at the weekend when they crushed a limp-wristed Wigan Athletic 4-0 in their opening match of the campaign, and, in so doing, put themselves in a great position to claim a Champions League spot.

The Tangerines were 'all over' Wigan, who were lucky to lose by just the four goals, and the seaside club briefly topped the division until Chelsea got going on West Brom's asses in the later game. The Blues won 6-0, despite the fact that the Baggies used two goalkeeepers.

Still, second place is a boost to Blackpool's fans, who must have thought that they were in for 38 defeats.

Their manager, funny West Country bumpkin Ian Holloway, told the BBC afterwards that he thought his side played the Latics 'off the park'. He said:

"Wigan were shoit. They were, truly! Horsemuck!. Ooo-arrrr!"

Holloway warned his players of complacency, however, and told them a Champions League place would not come easy. He said:

"There's a long way to go yet. It's only three points, and the Champions League is far from in the bag. Has anybody seen me coider?"

Blackpool's next fixture is at the Emirates next Saturday, where Arsenal will probably not be either shit, 'shoit' or horsemuck.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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