Pakistan crumbling - now athletes fail dope tests - guilty of using performance enhancing drugs

Funny story written by shea lo

Sunday, 15 August 2010

image for Pakistan crumbling - now athletes fail dope tests - guilty of using performance enhancing drugs
and this one is the pakistani 'best friend of the moment' medal

It never rains... it pours - As Pakistan scrambles to survive on all fronts now comes word that Pakistan's athletics arena is in a shambles. Not because of floods or lack of funding but because more and more of its athletes are being caught out.

News from Pakistan today reveals that 8 more of its athletes have failed to clear the dope test, and face bans.

Among them are a javelin thrower who is in the Army and some who represented the nation at the Olympics. Well, on the positive side, at least the javelin thrower is competing in sports not militancy!

This recent group of athletes joins a long-growing list of previous offenders who were found guilty of using performance-enhancing drugs.

A pompous medal-laden official who represents the Ministry of Dis-information and Absolute Nonsense declared:

"All medals that we awarded to these athletes for bringing honor would be withdrawn".

Bling-bling Pakistan loves to pin shiny medals - in fact it is a national past-time. Army Generals love to strut about with medal-laden chests; 'civilian' puppet politicians love to pin medals on themselves; revolving-door Presidents love to pin their American masters; even athletes who barely finish in their events at national races are regularly pinned with the highest ranking medals.

It's a fun game for Pakistan's rulers - fooling their disenfranchised and un-empowered citizens into believing that they live in a 'great' nation.

"It is so shiny-shiny" is an oft heard comment.

But for the Wikileaked-weary nation, this latest charge exposes the true rot beneath. Yesterday's man - Lonely Imran Khan, the only man who hasn't had his turn at playing Pak PM found time to thunder:

"When I become ruler I will single-handedly ensure that Pakistan tops the medals table at London-istan 2012. I am the only man who can save Pakistan"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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