'Snakey' Wins Gum-Chewers Final!

Funny story written by Nick Hobbs

Sunday, 25 July 2010

image for 'Snakey' Wins Gum-Chewers Final!
The clean up operation at the Red Lion begins, after a truly nail-biting final!

Tension was rife in the final stages of the Inter-County Professional Gum Chewing league, as 'Snakey' Henderson came out on top after chowing down against arch rival 'Bunty' Harry Tripp.

The two competitors had each fought valiantly through the initial stages of the competition, Bunty even dropped one-time favourite 'Glistening' Gary McLeaver from round 3, with a never before attempted 'quick-chew' maneuver.

The atmosphere in the Red Lion back garden was palpable, with the finals drawing in the largest crowd of 38 ever seen before!

Things started well for Bunty, after out-chewing Snakey 3-2-15 in rounds 1 thru 7 for an 8 over 7 average in 16-56.2-79 opening back-run. This left a deficit of 12/5 over 18, an almost impossible mountain for Snakey to climb, I'm sure you'll agree.

But Snakey, always the come-back king, chewed hard and fast and outshone Bunty in all his remaining rounds. This obviously leaves Bunty with 17-5 average for the season and Snakey well out in front on a 35-9. Outstanding!

Ex-world champion, 'Badger' Frank Badger, retired, told us "I gotta hand it to Snakey, he chose the spearmint gum. In a finals situation, when the world crown is on the line, you never go for Cinnamon gum, rookie error by Bunty!"

The crowning ceremony was completed and Snakey held aloft the famous multi-coloured Gum-ball trophy to a rapturous applause.

With nail-biting finals and big names like Snakey and Bunty attracting huge crowds, things look set to go from strength to strength for the sport in the years to come.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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