Will Arsenal get millions from Nigerian Billionaire?

Funny story written by IainB

Tuesday, 25 May 2010

image for Will Arsenal get millions from Nigerian Billionaire?
Aliko Dangote, seen heading to the Western Union Office

Arsene Wenger revealed today that there could be a possible investment in cash into Arsenal football club from Nigerian billionaire Aliko Dangote.

"I received an email this morning," Wenger said with a Gallic shrug, "it said that Mr Dangote is Nigeria's richest man, and is looking to move some of his billions out of Nigeria. However, due to legal complexities in moving that amount of money from Nigeria, he is going to need some help."

Dangote was apparently interested in the one hundred million pounds worth of shares made available by a departing Arsenal shareholder, Lady Bracewell-Smith, but on learning of the board rules of taking over the club once the share quotient reaches thirty percent, Dangote was willing to go that extra step.

"Dangote will be sending a cheque for four hundred and nineteen million pounds to us shortly," said Wenger, "we need to wire some of the money back to him as his money is tied up in the banks, and he needs to, how do you say? grease the wheels. We will be sending him five million pounds to do this."

With this large influx of cash, Arsenal are already looking at the transfer market to see who they can buy.

"I believe Kaka and Messi would be available for two hundred million, apiece," said Wenger. "I'm putting a bid in tomorrow."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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