Written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 15 March 2010

image for Hull City Goalkeeper Boaz Myhill "Unlikely" To Sign For Arsenal - Wenger
Catch it, you plonkeur!

Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger has confirmed this morning that he is "unlikely" to want to sign Hull City goalkeeper Boaz Myhill at any time in the forseeable future.

The announcement came after Wenger's side overcame Hull's stubborn resistance in the 2-1 victory at the KC Stadium on Saturday evening with a last-gasp winner from Nicholas Bendtner after he was gifted the ball by the sloppy Myhill, who palmed the ball to the Gunners' striker instead of merely catching it.

Hull had fought tirelessly and courageously to secure a point after going down to 10 men on the stroke of halftime when George Boateng was sent off for being a dickhead. They looked to have achieved the impossible when, on 93 minutes, Myhill played his wild card.

Wenger was sympathetic when he said:

"What a plonkeur! Zey 'ad soaked up all ze pressure, and looked to 'ave got zer point, but zen ze goalie made a complete bollox of an easy shot. I won't be signing 'im. I 'ave enough goalkeepers, sank you."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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