Wayne Rooney and Manchester United limp out of the Champions League

Written by Bill Licks

Wednesday, 7 April 2010

image for Wayne Rooney and Manchester United limp out of the Champions League
The World Cup? Never heard of it.

England's last hope of having a team in the semi-finals of the Champion's League for the eighth year in a row ended as Manchester United were knocked out by Bayern Munich.

Europe celebrated as the English monopoly came to an end but England commiserated as Wayne Rooney limped around the pitch for most of the game until he was substituted.

A disappointed United manager did not regret playing Rooney and believed he was perfectly fit before the game. 'He may have been limping a bit an hour before kick off and I even saw Coleen pushing him around in a wheelchair on Monday afternoon, but when you manage a one man team then that one man needs to play every single game no matter what.'

'Yes he might have done more damage after being on the end of some cynical German tackling but I'll keep playing him every game until the end of the season. I think that's what the Scotland fans... er sorry United fans would love to see even if he has to spend the summer on crutches.'

'The World Cup hasn't even figured in my mind. Of course I hope he plays in the World Cup. But I'm thinking of the Scotland fans... no my mistake, I mean the United fans. The ones who come to support us week after week and demand I pick the best team available to me.'

The United team will be appearing in an open top bus in Manchester city centre on Sunday afternoon displaying the Carling Cup they won earlier in the season.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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