Newcastle United Could Be Denied Promotion Over Technicality

Written by Skoob1999

Tuesday, 6 April 2010

image for Newcastle United Could Be Denied Promotion Over Technicality
The Legendary Football Rulebook, Yesterday.

The celebrations in the Bigg Market as Newcastle United apparently bounced back into the Premier League may prove to be premature thanks to an obscure 1997 clause which could see the Magpies have 20 points deducted from their season's total, thus denying them promotion.

The obscure rule, Rule 85b13x, states that from any North-East club, points will be deducted on a cumulative scale for repetitious use of the terms 'Toon' and the phrase 'It'll be good for the North-East.'

Irrespective of the club's input into the use of these terms, points can and will be deducted at the Chief Executive's discretion, should he or she be in the mood.

So far this term the word 'Toon' has been used in various media and club sources a total of 246,811 times so far, and the term 'Good for the North-East' a total of 76,275 times. Meaning a total points deduction of around 20 points for the Magpies, which would effectively rule out promotion for the 'Toon' and prove a disaster 'for the North-East.'

Geordie lass Cheryl Cole is to release a fund-raising CD single to support an appeal. The single 'Fight For This Club' will be in all crap outlets from Monday.

More as we get it.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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