Merseyside Cops To Police Manchester Derby

Funny story written by Skoob1999

Sunday, 24 January 2010

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It's just been announced that Merseyside Officers will take over crowd control duties for this Wednesday's showdown League Cup semi-final second leg tie at Old Trafford, amid fears of crowd trouble following the COMS tie last week, which City won in controversial circumstances.

Tensions have been running high in Manchester for days now, since ex United favourite Carlos Tevez scored both City goals against his previous employer, before exchanging insulting gestures with United skipper Gary Neville, whom Tevez referred to as a 'sock sucker,' a 'boot licker' and a 'moron.'

The decision to hand over control of the second leg tie to Merseyside Police was taken as intelligence reports confirmed that most Greater Manchester officers were either diehard reds or blowhard blues, leading to fears that officers could abandon their posts and join in with any fighting between rival fans which may occur.

The feeling among senior police officials was that Merseyside Officers were much more experienced at telling agitated individuals to 'calm down' and would provide highly visible hate figures for Manchester fans to focus on, rather than each other.

A planned pre-match show featuring outspoken City fan and ex-Oasis frontman Liam Gallagher in Piccadilly Gardens was called off yesterday on police advice.

The tension in the air in this city is palpable.

More as we get it.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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