Shirtlifting Outlawed At Football Stadiums

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 24 September 2009

image for Shirtlifting Outlawed At Football Stadiums
Shirtlifting - out of hand

The Football Association today took its firmest steps yet to halt a growing trend in the game, by banning the unseemly and potentially painful activity known amongst players and fans alike as 'shirtlifting'.

Shirtlifting came into football only about 13 years ago, when Italian striker Fabrizio Ravinelli first 'lifted his shirt' whilst playing for Middlesbrough, but many players have since adopted the filthy habit, and it is now so widespread in the game, that the FA has seen fit to put a stop to it.

Fans, too, will be told to desist from shirtlifting. Supporters of Newcastle United, now in the Championship, will be dismayed to learn of the new ruling, as they regularly not only lift shirts, but frequently remove them altogether, especially when the weather is pleasant, and temperatures rise above 'freezing'.

The news comes as a result of complaints from several clubs that the filthy practice of shirtlifting was getting out of hand amongst players, and especially amongst high-profile individuals like Peter Shirtliff, for example.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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