London Marathon: Susan Boyle WILL Run

Written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 25 April 2009

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image for London Marathon: Susan Boyle WILL Run
Boyle - she can't even run a bath

Susan Boyle, the new Scottish singing sensation who has wowed audiences worldwide with her songbird-like qualities, has told organisers that she WILL take part in tomorrow's London Marathon, and has a special treat in store for fans.

Susan will SING all the way around the 26-mile course!

The nunty Scottish lassie says she is looking forward to the challenge, because "that's what life's about - challenges".

Yesterday, she told reporters at a news conference to explain the finer details of the Chancellor's Budget proposals, that she would be singing a selection of songs from her new CD, as well as a new version of her Britain's Got Talent gem, I Dreamed A Dream.

Susan Boyle hasn't run many marathons; in fact, she's never run a marathon; indeed, she can't even run for a bus, and some in the athletics world find it incomprehensible that a 47-year-old, unemployed church worker who has never had sex, could possibly attempt such an undertaking.

Speaking today, the BBC's former Great Britain Olympic long-distance athlete, Brendan Foster, said:

"She should never do that. There'll always be another one along in a minute."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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