Written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 2 October 2008

image for Sol Campbell To Become Honourable In Bid To Beat 'Boo Boys'
I swear by Almighty God, that I'd do anything for cash

Sol Campbell, the Portsmouth defender who was a victim of racist and homophobic abuse at the weekend from Tottenham fans, is to become 'honourable' in a bid to beat the 'boo boys'.

Campbell, who played for Tottenham until 2001, when he left to play for their arch-rivals, Arsenal, is regarded by many Spurs fans as a 'Judas' for 'doing the dirty' on them, and signing for the Gunners after saying in an interview with Spurs Monthly that he would "never play for Arsenal".

The ex-England international had wanted Champions League football, and distracted Spurs' attention by making outrageously large wage demands.

As soon as Spurs had agreed to those demands, Campbell left for Arsenal. White Hart Lane diehards never forgave him.

Iscariot always claimed that he loved Tottenham, and said:

"I always had Spurs in me",

but some say this was a reference to a secret relationship he had at the time with one of the club's promising trainees.

Now, however, Sol has said he intends to "make things right" with Spurs fans, and has asked them for forgiveness. Now nearing the end of his career, he has said that he would like to play at White Hart Lane again before he retires. In a statement, he said:

"Tottenham fans are the best. I want to hold my hands up and tell them I did it for the money. I'd do anything for the money. Even that thing I (was alleged to have) did with that sweet young trainee."

Spurs fans weren't impressed. One, known only as Spanners, said:

"It's a bit late for all that malarkey! He should have thought about that when he turned his back on us!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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