Sol Campbell In Call For 'More Gay Footballers'

Written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 1 October 2008

image for Sol Campbell In Call For 'More Gay Footballers'
The invitations to be gay

Sol Campbell, the Portsmouth defender, has said in a statement that there are far too few gay footballers, and has called upon players to support the under-represented minority by 'becoming gay'.

Sol, real name Sulzeer Jeremiah, who, some claim, is as bent as a nine-bob note, was bombarded with racist and homophobic abuse by fans at the weekend, during Pompey's game with Spurs at Fratton Park. Far from shying away from the gay issue, however, the ex-Spurs player met it head-on:

"There's nothing wrong with being gay. I mean, OK, it looks a bit funny, with one man knelt behind another, stabbing his babba and all, but it's just doing what comes naturally."

"Gays have always been under-represented in football. Justin Fashanu, who played for Norwich City, Nottingham Forest and Hearts, was the only openly-gay player, and he was hounded to his suicide in 1998. Since then, there hasn't been a single case of an uphill-gardening footballer. This has got to change."

The former England international has sent out letters to all 92 League clubs asking them to nominate a Gay Representative, to get the message across to normal, heterosexual supporters, that gay people are 'not strange', and that it's safe to live next door to one.

Sol again:

"Ideally it should be the club captain, or star player. A Steve Gerrard, Wayne Rooney or Frank Lampard, that status of player, someone who all the fans love and respect. We have to make fans understand that it is normal to be gay."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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