The man responsible for the abject failure of the England team has landed a job more suited to his talents. Steve 'Hopeless' McLaren has been appointed manager of Harare Athletic, Zimbabwe's number one side.
The controversial champions of Zimbabwe are infamous for murdering all their opponents during the course of 90 minutes. Club chairman Robert Mugabe said "Like myself, Steve McLaren is despised in his own land and regarded as a joke throughout the rest of the world. We will work closely together to exterminate all opposition" (Surely win the cup ? Ed.)
Steve McLaren is thankful to former England boss and soccer legend Sir Booby Robson (108) for giving him sound advice. Sir Booby, speaking from the Margaret Thatcher Home For Senile Old Fools, said "Young Steve asked me what he should do. I told him to leave the country as he would never get another job here......Worhters Original, young man?"
McLaren's first match in charge is the cruch game against a strong UN side seeking break through the home side's defense.