Boris Johnson the conservative MP for Henley has announced he is to step down from parliament and hand control of his constituency of Henley over to celebrity African dictator Robert Mugabe.
"I have a lot on at the moment, what with being the Mayor of London and taking extra Bumbling lessons. I can't possibly be an MP too. I don't want the job to go to some polish labourer or some Liverpudlian ne'er do well so have nominated my successor and I think he will do what is required in Henley."
Robert Mugabe outlined his plans for Henley at a press conference today.
"First we shall kick out all the foreigners and take back their land. Then we shall eliminate our enemies one by one."
Local Henley conservatives are said to be delighted.