Mugabe announces he will step down

Funny story written by Limnothrissa

Sunday, 15 June 2008

image for Mugabe announces he will step down
Grace Mugabe, Zimbabwes "First Shopper" collection of shoes is said to put the Emelda Marcos collection to shame

Rooters Harare - Robert Mugabe today said he is prepared to step down as President of Zimbabwe.

In a surprise announcement that caught the international community completely off guard he said that he will bow to the will of the people of Zimbabwe and "I would like to retire and leave a legacy of my tenure in office with grace".

When asked the time frame of this surprising move he responded: "As soon as my wife has done all her shopping in Paris, London, New York and Tokyo with the National Airlines jumbojet, we are going to move to my new US $26 million retirement home in Harare. I have had enough of politics, it's a dirty game with all this killing and torture I have to do to my people in Zimbabwe just to win a silly little thing like an election."

The opposition party spokesman said it would be very hard for him to leave office with Grace. He said: "The people are fed up with Graces antics, wasting millions of dollars on shopping all over the world while they are starving."

"We will make sure Mugabe leaves office with not a shred of Grace," one activist said. "Grace is beyond belief and shredding is far too good for her!"

At a recent event where the "First Shopper" was handing out food aid to ZANU-PF supporters, obtained by the Government by stealing it from Aid agencies, Grace herself was asked for comment. "My husband is so blind now he cannot read the writing on the wall, let alone the newspapers" she said, "so I will just tell him he has won an overwhelming majority and we will stay on in State House. How can we possibly live in that small little mansion? I need at least twenty rooms for myself and all my shopping, and it only has twenty six bedrooms!" she said.

The Government has stopped all food distribution by donor agencies that had been giving it out to starving Zimbabean children.

A local political analyst predicted that Mugabes fall from Grace is coming very soon.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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