Me, Myself and someone else

Written by Norton Folgate

Saturday, 3 May 2008

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A Schizophrenic man who threatened suicide meant that the Police had no alternative but to treat it then as a hostage situation.

The drama began shortly after 08.15am on Saturday 3rd May when John Bredlaw of Clacton on Sea, Essex barricaded himself in his garage and threatened to kill himself with a cheese grater.

Superintendent Patrick Collins said 'because of his (Bredlaws) split personality, we had no choice but to change the alert status from a suicide situation to that of a hostage one.'

After a tense 4 hour 'stand off' the siege was brought to a happy conclusion when Bredlaw surrendered as he wanted to watch Football Focus.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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