After death of Deborah Jean Palfrey, 98% of women in America to be imprisoned.

Written by NickFun

Saturday, 3 May 2008

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image for After death of Deborah Jean Palfrey, 98% of women in America to be imprisoned.
This woman was paid to look sexy and now faces imprisonment

After the suicide of Madam Deborah Jean Palfrey, the U.S. District Court in Washington, D.C. declared that every woman who ever requested money, goods or services in exchange for sex be tried for prostitution and, when found guilty, incarcerated.

The Court found that an overwhelming majority (98.3%) of women in the United States have demanded free drinks, meals, money and/or goods or services in exchange for sexual favors. This is in direct violation of federal laws and the laws of most states.

"Sex should be given away freely with no obligation on the part of the person requesting the action", declared US District Judge James Robertson, the judge who convicted Palfrey. "We have to be fair. If we convicted Ms Palfrey then we have to convict any woman who engages in this behavior".

"I had sex with a man that I met in a Washington bar last week", said Arlington, VA resident Gloria Vicksburg. "But I told him we wouldn't 'do it' unless he bought me dinner and drinks first".

No sooner had Ms. Vicksburg made this statement than four armed patrol officers arrived at her home and arrested her for prostitution and crossing state lines to commit a felonious deed. She is currently being held without bail.

"If she had simply given the sex away with no stings attached we wouldn't have arrested her", said Arlington, VA police chief Ralph Waldo. "But she demanded he spend a certain amount of cash before they commenced with the deed. That makes it prostitution. And she drove 6 miles across the state line. She might go to jail for years!"

Though most women were outraged at the recent court action, at least one woman found the ruling adequate.

"I've been giving it away for years", said Nicole "Bambi" Jones of Chesapeake, VA. "All you have to do is ask me".

Martha Peabody, a housewife from Wisconsin, also agreed with the court ruling until someone asked her if she would stay with her husband if he had no money.

"No, probably not", she replied.

Ms Peabody is being held at the county jail until her case can be heard and, because of the backlog of cases, that may take several years.

As in Ms Palfry's case, men who engaged the services of the prostitutes will not be prosecuted.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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