5 Foot Tall Talking Vagina Invades TV Airwaves Unnoticed

Written by David Hawkins

Saturday, 3 May 2008

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Yack Yack Yackity Yack Yack Yackity Yack

People hardly notice it anymore. Like the proverbial Boiling Frog Syndrome: If one abruptly tosses a frog into a pot of boiling water, it will jump out. But if one gently places a frog into a pot of lukewarm water and turn the heat up gradually, it will boil to death.

And so it is with the 5 foot tall talking vagina that has invaded our living rooms via the television. We've grown so accustomed to it talking and talking and talking about everything from itself to foreign affairs and imperialism for the past 25 years, but that doesn't mean we don't continue to be hurt by its effect. First it was hiding behind a talking penis and we never saw it much. And now you turn around and it's been running for President for the past two years.

You can't even swing a cat without hitting a TV with the talking vagina standing somewhere in a room full of donkeys just yammering away about some oddball nonsense.

Luckily some people are finally figuring out that all it is is a talking vagina.

People have become so accustomed to the 5 foot tall talking vagina running it's mouth in the background all day long as they go about their business that they don't realize it has some kind of crazy utopian agenda and is now trying to form people's opinions for them and brainwash us all right down the drain.

It's time to wake up and hop out of the boiling water and put a cork in that talking vagina and put it back where it belongs. Tucked away neatly in some old vagina home where the loud, old, rattly, wrinkled vaginas go when they become a pain in everyone's collective arse.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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