Sam Allardyce was found today, trying to squeeze out of a door frame he had got stuck in. According to staff at Newcastle United, Big Sam has been in the door frame ever since he was sacked.
When asked about it, all that the officials said was "We were going to sack him sooner, but the door frame was putting us off. You see, the money we would have spent on getting the doors widened, would be more than the money Sam was losing us as manager. In the end, we had to sack Sam, and when he got stuck in the door, no one could be bothered to get him out. And Sam seemed happy sitting in the door frame chewing gum and playing darts."
Big Sam will be taken out of the frame on the 6th of may, and put into a freak show. Big Sam's act at this show will be Big Sam's sizzling sausage (no pun intended).
