Written by david alsatian

Tuesday, 7 August 2007

image for Fortune Favours the Braves
baseball bat

FORMER Manchester United star Quinton Fortune last night stunned the sporting world by turning his back on football to sign a deal with Major League baseball side the Atlanta Braves.

Several Premiership clubs were chasing the South African after his summer release from Bolton.

But Fortune has had enough of the beautiful game and will now embark on a new career playing bastardised cricket.

The 31-year-old said: "I've never played baseball before but it sounds like a piece of piss.

"All you have to do is wave a bat about aggressively and be chased by people in uniforms. I know all about that after spending seven years walking the streets of Manchester."

Fortune denied that he made the sensational cross-sport switch to upstage publicity-seeking fanny-boy David Beckham.

He said: "I didn't even know David had moved to America. I never saw anything about it in the English media."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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