Chelsea Supporters Write New Chant for Manchester United

Funny story written by Heewack

Wednesday, 1 August 2007

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LONDON (Heewack News Network) -- A new season approaches for the English Premier League--and for Chelsea FC supporters, a change of heart and best wishes to their good friends at Manchester United.

Long gone are the derisive chants--"You came all this way and lost," and the "12 went up, 7 died, now Man U. plays 5-a-side"--that have been the hallmark of Chelsea chants over the years. Today's Chelsea supporter, says longtime Blues fan Nigel Cheese-Hamper, prefers to treat their rivals with camaraderie and mutual respect.

"We're all in this together," Cheese-Hamper said. "The EPL is the greatest football league in the world, and Chelsea and Man U have played key roles in making that happen. We must continue to honor and celebrate our shared heritage."

Cheese-Hamper has written a new "welcome chant" for Manchester United fans who come to Stamford Bridge, which he expects will become part of Chelsea supporters' extensive repertoire. The chant goes as follows:

"Welcome, welcome, men of Red;
We doff our hats and bow our heads!
No matter how the match should end,
Our hope is that we'll all be friends!"

FIFA President Sepp Blatter has already endorsed the chant. "Chelsea and Manchester United supporters have had nearly a century of respect and admiration for each other," he said, "and this chant marks a new era in the excellent relations these two teams enjoy year in and year out. They continue to set the standard for true football fans."

A spokesman for Manchester United, Basil Rottengate, said that he "speaks for all Man U supporters in thanking Chelsea FC and its loyal supporters for their continued hospitality and warm wishes. We extend a hearty invitation to all Chelsea supporters to come to Old Trafford, wear your colors with pride and together, enjoy The Beautiful Game."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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