Lance Armstrong, complaining that retirement was too boring has made a late entry into the Tour De France. Starting more than a day behind the leaders and main pack of riders.
Armstrong, who is sponsorless, wearing blue jeans, a cowboy hat and riding a rickety old bike he bought from a French farmer, is said to have already made up several hours and hopes to close within striking distance by the time everyone reaches the critical mountain stages.
When asked about the late entry of Armstrong, French officials strongly denied it was done as a stunt to regain the world's attention. They also denied giving Armstrong any kind of a retainer for his effort, or donations to his favorite charities, or agreeing to make crank phone calls to Sheryl Crow. "Mr Armstrong asked permission to enter the race late and after dancing like school girls we agreed to his terms," said a Tour De France official on the condition of anonymity.
"It's a joke," said current leader Lars Frohm of Germany, "Were more than a day...what the hell is that!" Frohm points to a dot coming towards them in the distance and grabs a pair of binoculars away from a tourist. "Sheist! Grab your bikes you idiots, he is coming already!"
It now promises to be an interesting race to the finish as the 7 time champion Armstrong pushes to make history.
