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Funny satire stories about Lance Armstrong

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Funny story: Apollo 11 Moon Landing Was Genuine - Lance Armstrong

Apollo 11 Moon Landing Was Genuine - Lance Armstrong

The Apollo 11 moon landing in 1969 was "absolutely genuine", says cycling's golden boy, Lance Armstrong. Armstrong is the son of Neil Armstrong who was on the mission, and who famously hit a golf ball from the lunar surface, and uttered the phrase...

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Funny story: Lance Armstrong Denies Being First Man On The Moon

Lance Armstrong Denies Being First Man On The Moon

The former cyclist Lance Armstrong has reacted angrily to allegations that he was the first man to walk on the Moon. Armstrong, now 47, won the Tour de France an unprecedented seven times in succession between 1999 and 2005, before being exposed a...

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Funny story: Vladimir Putin's Planned Erection Of New Berlin Wall

Vladimir Putin's Planned Erection Of New Berlin Wall

Though Vladimir Putin got away with annexing Crimea, crushing Georgia, is in the process of smashing Chechnya and invading the Ukraine (in a obvious attempt to recreate the old Soviet Union) he is now setting his sights on East Germany with plans for...

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Funny story: Lance Armstrong To Endorse Stretch Armstrong Action Figure

Lance Armstrong To Endorse Stretch Armstrong Action Figure

Former champion cyclist and admitted cheater Lance Armstrong is reportedly taking an offer from the original toy maker to endorse a revived Stretch Armstrong action figure. A spokesman says that the time is right to relaunch Stretch Armstrong, as...

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Funny story: Roger Clemens and Lance Armstrong Sell Their Business Venture

Roger Clemens and Lance Armstrong Sell Their Business Venture

CHICAGO - Former sports figures Roger Clemens and Lance Armstrong opened up The Been There - Done That Private Detective Agency in February of this year and they've announced that they have just sold it. Armstrong spoke with Cutter Shiloh of Ameri...

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Funny story: NFL Blames Blames "Rooster Booster" For Player's Health Problems

NFL Blames Blames "Rooster Booster" For Player's Health Problems

BILLINGSGATE POST - NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell announced today that that the NFL will fight the onslaught of player suits claiming that information regarding the effects of concussions on the brains of its players was deliberately withheld. La...

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Funny story: Lance Armstrong Preparing for Prison By Riding Bicycle With No Seat

Lance Armstrong Preparing for Prison By Riding Bicycle With No Seat

While it's questionable whether or not Lance Armstrong will serve jail time for alleged fraud, friends say the former cyclist is preparing for that possibility by training on a bicycle with just a seat post, and no seat. "Lance has always been t...

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Funny story: Lance Armstrong Only Cheating Himself - Claim

Lance Armstrong Only Cheating Himself - Claim

Lance Armstrong, the 7-time Tour de France winner who, it's been revealed, achieved his victories with the help of banned drugs, is only cheating himself, writes spoof cycling correspondent Moys Kenwood. Armstrong used a cocktail of banned substan...

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Funny story: Lance Armstrong and Roger Clemens Going Into Business Together

Lance Armstrong and Roger Clemens Going Into Business Together

CHICAGO - It appears that two of the sports world's fallen figures have announced plans for a new business venture. Lance Armstrong, the lying road racing cyclist champion and Roger Clemens, the lying baseball pitcher recently met at The Crocked C...

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Funny story: US legal system seduced by 'Armstrong Appeal'

US legal system seduced by 'Armstrong Appeal'

The recent heart-warming words of Lance Armstrong have inspired a wave of appeals from prisoners on Death Row in America to commute their sentences to a 'life-time ban from competitive cycling'. US legal experts are said to be scratching their he...

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Funny story: Lance Armstrong stripped of cancer victory

Lance Armstrong stripped of cancer victory

ATLANTA, GA-In response to disgraced cyclist Lance Armstrong's admission that he had used performance-enhancing drugs, the American Cancer Society announced today that it had stripped Armstrong of his 1997 victory over cancer, and the 42-year-old...

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Funny story: Lance Armstrong Ordered To Be Oprah's Pedicab Rider

Lance Armstrong Ordered To Be Oprah's Pedicab Rider

In what many are calling a harsh punishment, disgraced cheater and confirmed liar, bully, twat and complete and utter bastard, Lance Armstrong, has been court ordered to pedal Oprah Winfrey around for 3 months as her personal pedicab driver. Some,...

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Funny story: Armstrong denies using Apology Enhancing Drugs

Armstrong denies using Apology Enhancing Drugs

Lance Armstrong has appeared on the Oprah Winfrey show to apologise for his performance enhancing drug use over seven seperate Tour de France titles. However he has since denied rumours that he was under the influence of drugs to make the apology.

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Funny story: Oprah extracts the truth out of Lance Armstrong; "it was that damn bum cream" he claims

Oprah extracts the truth out of Lance Armstrong; "it was that damn bum cream" he claims

Oprah Winfrey has interviewed Lance Armstrong in a 2 hour session that is due to be sent out on US TV in two parts. Oprah took on the assignment because behind the Armstrong charade she believed there is a real person sitting on his saddle and not a...

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Funny story: Lance Armstrong Seen Pushing His Bike Uphill

Lance Armstrong Seen Pushing His Bike Uphill

Los Angeles, CA - The seven-time "winner" of the Tour De France, now the piƱata of the sports world, Lance Armstrong, has been spotted by several people, pushing his bike up the steep canyon roads around L.A. recently. "I'd recognize those glutes...

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Funny story: Lance Armstrong Hit by Further Problems with Drug Re-Classification

Lance Armstrong Hit by Further Problems with Drug Re-Classification

As well as suffering the humiliation of having his 7 Tour de France titles stripped from him Lance Armstrong today suffered a further blow when the UK Government confirmed that he has been re-classified as a Class A drug. Possession of Armstrong...

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Funny story: Lance Armstrong Is Moving To The South Pole

Lance Armstrong Is Moving To The South Pole

NEW ORLEANS - Lance Armstrong was recently seen riding his bicycle down on Bourbon Street. According to Tango Brisket with Sports Territory Magazine, Armstrong was wearing a Mitt Romney "Frankenstein" Halloween mask and was dressed in an LSU sweat...

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