The March Madness NCAA College Basketball Tournament issues a new set of drug rules

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 23 August 2023

image for The March Madness NCAA College Basketball Tournament issues a new set of drug rules
Drug violators will be sent home immediately.

The directors of The March Madness NCAA College Basketball Tournament have just put out a new set of updated rules on the issue of drug use.

The policy clearly states that no drugs of any kind are allowed on the premises of any NCAA basketball sanctioned game.

This includes heroin, morphine, cocaine, methamphetamines, zinzag, cannabis, (aka marijuana, pot, weed, grass, and joints).

Any player, coach, or cheerleader caught with any of these substances in his or her possession will immediately be dismissed from the tournament and will be sent packing.

The organization will make no exceptions to this policy, unlike they did last year with the son of a major universitycoach, who was caught in the possession of a bottle of opioids.

The goal is to provide the fans with a nice, comfortable, drug-free, and stress-free environment. ■

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot