PHOENIX - (Sports Satire) - The Phoenix Hot Sun Newspaper reports that the NFL Phoenix Cardinals have made it abundantly clear to Aaron Rodgers that they are not the least bit interested in hiring him to be their quarterback.
Team spokesperson F.F. Flask, 42, said that at 39, they not only consider him over the hill, but over the fucking mountain as well.
Aaron assured the team that he still has lots and lots of touchdown passes in his arsenal and noted that yes, he has been prone to interceptions, and yes he has been prone to fumbling the fucking ball, but like they say in Los Angeles, that's just part of the damn fucking game.
Rodgers noted that great QB's like Tom Brady, Troy Aikman, Terry Bradshaw, and Roman Gabriel all had their share of mishandled balls, flirtatious groupies, and expired Gatorade.
SIDENOTE: As he left the State Farm Stadium, he pointed out to a stadium groundskeeper that at least he still has his sexy, as the dickens girlfriend Danica Patrick, who has told him that she is addicted to his cock (penis).
