Welcome to the 101st Annual Turtle Race …
Yawn …
And there’s the #3 turtle racing against the #4 turtle … and it’s heating up …
(Oh god I can’t stop yawning!)
And it’s neck and neck … one flipper forward … another … I think #3’s tail wagged a bit there … another flipper, nope, it shuffled back a bit … yawn … and a fly is buzzing around #4’s head … he’s taking a snap at it … another … and it’s flown away … exciting action here at the turtle, yawn, race … and there’s a stone coming up … it’s not too big, but what shall our racers do … it’s coming … almost there … and they’ve stopped to sniff it … might be a bit of time here, should we go to commercial … my producer is thinking … thinking … scratching his three day old beard … thinking … and he’s shaking his head, no, not yet … okay, and it’s back to the action … the turtle’s are slowly going around the stone … #3 is heading to its left and #4 … is also heading to the left … and they’ve bumped flippers! … and nothing has come of it … you’d think they’d go over the stone, but not these two fierce warriors … yawn, oh god I can’t stop – and there’s my producer slashing a finger across his neck, time for commercial, thank fucking god … stay tuned, race fans for more … [snore] …
