Welcome to the 101st Annual Turtle Race … Yawn … And there’s the #3 turtle racing against the #4 turtle … and it’s heating up … (Oh god I can’t stop yawning!) And it’s neck and neck … one flipper forward … another … I think #3’s tail wagg…
PASCAGOULA, Mississippi – (Sports Satire) – Ever since March, when the Coronavirus first got out of hand, NASCAR’s attendance has fallen by 61%. And then the fact that the racing entity banned Confederate flags really kicked the racing giant in it…
NEW YORK CITY – In an effort to try and keep things as normal as humanly possible, Gov. Cuomo has addressed the matter of this year’s New York Marathon Race. The governor has personally informed all of the marathon race sponsors that the race wil...
DAYTONA, Florida – President Trump and First Lady Melania showed up at the Daytona 500, uninvited, and damn, if old “Cheeto Face” didn’t go and jinx the race! According to The Miami Globe-Gazette, President Trump told one of Ricky Stenhouse Jr's m...
EUGENE, OREGON - University of Oregon athletic officials have announced a new track meet in honor of Steve Prefontaine, a world-class middle and long distance runner, who along with Frank Shorter, Bill Rodgers, and Jim Ryun generated a running boom i...
Only hours after leaving a police station in California, Justin Gerber flew to Miami area and was arrested there, accord to Florida police. "I guess he's fast becoming known as Justin Gerber because he acts like a child. I guess he never grew up",...
NEW YORK CITY - NASCAR driver Danica Patrick was in the Big Apple doing some last minute Christmas shopping. She was approached by Taffeta Kixx with The Gossipette Gazette who asked her how she'd been feeling lately. Danica responded by saying...
TARZANA - Danica Patrick had just finished racing at The Gary Busey International Speedway when she was approached by a reporter with The Turnstile Review. Ambrose Appomattox of TR asked her if there was a certain man in her life. The petite, sexy...
TARZANA, California - The Queen of NASCAR, Danica Patrick was at The Gary Busey International Speedway filming a commercial for Cover Cutey Makeup. After she had finished she met with Zorro La Bamba of The Sports Bet Gazette. He asked her about...
Speedway, Indiana - Two major fractures are not enough to keep NASCAR's Tony Stewart out of the driver's seat. The versatile racer, who fractured his leg in two places in a minor-league dirt track event, has ordered his medical team to position h...
SPARTA, Kentucky - Danica Patrick is still very angry with the way she was treated by Kyle Petty, the 53-year-old racing has-been as she and Madonna refer to the arrogant son of the legendary racer Richard Petty. Kyle made a drama queen-like remar...
SPARTA, Kentucky - NASCAR race driver Danica Patrick says that she has pretty much heard it all so she was not surprised when Kyle Petty took some cheap shots at her. According to Tango Brisket with Sports Territory Magazine, Kyle "The Has Been" P...
CABO SAN LUCAS, Mexico - The second jewel of Mexico's racing Triple Crown, The Cabo San Lucas Stakes, went to the first jewel winner Palace Malice. The bay colored stallion from Kentucky was ridden by famed jockey Mike "Giddy Up" Smith who rode Pa...
HOUSTON - NASCAR race driver Danica Patrick was recently spotted dining alone at The Gunfight At The OK Corral Steakhouse located in downtown Houston. Afterwards she met with Zorro La Bamba of The Sports Bet Gazette. He asked her if she was still...
ATLANTA - Danica Patrick who wrecked into boyfriend Ricky Stenhouse, Jr. at the Coca Cola 600 in Concord, New Hampshire is still quite upset at the incident. Patrick speaking to Ambrose Appomattox with The Turnstile Review said that she did not ap...
CONCORD, New Hampshire - Danica Patrick told the racing media that she is sorry about the incident at The Coca Cola 600, in which she crashed her car into the car driven by her boyfriend Ricky Stenhouse, Jr. She wanted everyone to know that she is...
LOUISVILLE, Kentucky - The 139th running of The Kentucky Derby was run on a field that was muddier than the town scenes in the western AMC TV series Hell On Wheels. Orb who was favored at 6 to 1 odds started the race in 19th place out of 19 horses...
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