Gov. Cuomo Announces That This Year's New York City Marathon Will Now Take Place in Billionaire Mike Bloomberg’s Backyard

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 31 March 2020

image for Gov. Cuomo Announces That This Year's New York City Marathon Will Now Take Place in Billionaire Mike Bloomberg’s Backyard
53,640 runners participated in last year's NYC Marathon Race including over 4,000 Kenyans and 59 Chiricahua Apaches.

NEW YORK CITY – In an effort to try and keep things as normal as humanly possible, Gov. Cuomo has addressed the matter of this year’s New York Marathon Race.

The governor has personally informed all of the marathon race sponsors that the race will go on as scheduled.

He has made it very clear that he expects the runners to keep a distance of 6 feet between each other.

He explained that instead of the marathon traversing the five Burroughs of the Big Apple, the race will instead be held in billionaire Mike Bloomberg’s extremely spacious seven-acre backyard.

Cuomo said that, last year, a total of 53,640 runners competed in the race.

But since space will be limited, this year, the governor, Mayor de Blasio, and Anderson Cooper have decided to limit the number of participants to 90 individuals.

The governor knows that there will be many runners who will be very disappointed, but, he added, that they can just get over it, and for those who happen to have a treadmill, they could run 26.2 miles in the privacy of their own homes.

SIDENOTE: The Passaic Pioneer Bulletin is reporting that the 4,391 Kenyans that had already paid their entry fee are very angry, and they will be filing a ‘non-running’ lawsuit.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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