PROGRESO, Texas - (Sports Satire) - Growing up in the Texas Rio Grande Valley, Joe Willie Passadero, dreamed of one day being the starting quarterback for his hometown Progreso Fighting Red Ants high school team.
Well Joe Willie, who was named after the great New York Jets quarterback, Joe Willie Namath, got his wish.
Number 1, who is only a freshman started the very first game of the season, after the senior quarterback was sidelined with an ear injury.
The Fighting Red Ants played their arch rivals the Bucking Broncos from nearby Rio Loco High School.
Progreso took the opening kickoff and on the very first play, Passadero threw for a 49 yard TD pass.
At the half the Fighting Red Ants led the Bucking Broncos by a score of 52-3.
To start the second half the Progeso coach Tony Pan de Dulce, put in his second string team; except for Passadero.
And at the start of the fourth quarter he put in the third string and two of the Progreso band members.
Passadero excelled as he threw touchdown passes of 49, 35, 9, 62, 24, 41, 43, 71, 4, and 16 yards.
The Fighting Red Ant cheerleaders yelled so much that half of them ended up with sore throats and one also suffered a deviated cervix.
When the final gun went off Joe Willie Passadero, who is only 16, had thrown for 10 TD passes.
The final score was Progresso 76, Rio Loco 3.
