LOS ANGELES - (Sports Satire) - Ever since he was a tiny bloke growing up in England, comedian Ricky Gervais, who was born in Port Wacker, England, has always been fascinated by horses.
As a little tyke he fell in love with "Trigger," which was Roy Rogers horse, with "Champion," which was Gene Autry's horse, with "Traveler," which was Gen. Robert E. Lee's horse, and with "Mr. Fuck," who was Attila The Hun's horse.
So when he got a chance to buy his very own horse, Ricky jumped at the chance, like an Oregon lumberjack jumping on a naked college cheerleader.
Gervais purchased a thoroughbred from Anderson Cooper named "Newsboy."
Ricky changed the race horse's name to “Hashtag %#%@*&%#.”
The horse with the extremely rare name ran in The Corpus Christi Invitational Oceanic Derby.
And low and behold “Hashtag %#%@*&%#” easily won the race by a record setting 19 lengths.
SIDENOTE: Gervais told Sportsapalooza reporter Pia Confetti that next, he plans to enter him in The Lake Charles Alligator Bayou Derb down in Louisiana.
