MANCHESTER, England - (Satire News) - Sports Balls Illustrated Daily writer Dottie Bazooka, reports that the world-famous Manchester United Red Devils organization has donated £1.3 million [$1,565,925.40 - US] to the Ukraine war effort.
Man U, manager Erik ten Hag, told SBID that 25% of the money was donated by the 38 Red Devils members and the Man United owners, (The Glazer Brothers) donated the remaining 75%.
Team player Cristiano Ronaldo added that he personally will be sending to the people of Ukraine 100,000 bottles of water along with 800 cases of Guinness Beer for the fighting Ukrainian soldiers.
Russian President Putin texted Prime Minister Boris Johnson and he told him that he was not happy with Manchester United and Cristiano Ronaldo aiding the Ukrainian people.
SIDENOTE: Outgoing Prime Minister Johnson texted Putinski back and replied, "Fuck off ya bloody, warmongering, commie cunt!"
