NEW YORK CITY - (Sports Satire) - Word from the office of NBA Commissioner Ron Silver say that the Phoenix Suns are playing the best ball in the entire NBA.
Their record, as of press time, was an astounding 53-13. Sun's coach Earl "The Pearl" Watson recently told Dottie Bazooka with The Sports Balls Illustrated Daily that he is as happy as a gazelle in a lion, tiger, panther, and leopard-free jungle.
A spokesperson for Suns owner Robert Sarver, 60, said that the city has really embraced his team, especially for some reason, the hundreds of sexy pole dancers.
He noted that winning is contagious, and it also stimulates the hunger gene, as evidenced by the fact that sales of arena hot dogs has gone up by 152%. He added that beer sales have actually tripled and the sale of condoms from the arena's bathrooms have risen (no pun intended) to a whopping 97.4%
Meanwhile several Suns players including point guard Chris Paul (#3), center Bismack Biyombro (#18), and shooting guard Ish Wainwright (#12), have all purchased fast food restaurants in the greater Phoenix area.
[PUBLISHER'S NOTE: Paul and Biyombro have each purchased a McDonalds restaurant and Wainwright has bought a Hank’s Hippity Hoppity Hamburger Haven.]
