Tuesday, 13 February 2018

image for Winter Olympics roundup
Olympians compete to build the best snowman

It's been non-stop excitement in South Korea as the Winter Olympics have gotten underway. Andorra have topped the medal table - as always - thanks to their entire population of snow-loving mountain inhabitants. The Winter Olympics was invented by an Andorran and in fact many of the sports originate from there - particularly the cliff jumping and the 100m dash on ice.

One of Britain's best medal hopes lies in the snowman, where Geoffetta Windsor is an expert. She has been building snowmen since she was seven, and often practises during the summer months at Romford ice rink.

Another possible Team GB winner is young Geoff Zzorg, a half-Andorran who excels at the ski/rabbit. That unusual competition is also known as the winter biathlon. Competitors ski for a kilometer, then have to strangle a rabbit. It is a popular pastime in Andorra.

Of course, winter sports wouldn't be complete without darts. After all, when it's too cold to go outside, you can stay in by a nice warm fire with a pint of beer and a dartboard. Britain is likely to see medals in all darts competitions, but in the overall medal table is unlikely to come close to Andorra, who already have 700 gold medals after only four days of competition.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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